


Forever by Your Side

by amaxingbaek



Series: Our Eternity [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Wolves, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Napping, Polyamory, Vampires, Witches, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21807949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaxingbaek/pseuds/amaxingbaek
Summary: As the head of the house and their unofficial leader, Chan is always looking out for the rest of his boys, but sometimes he’s the one who needs comfort and protection instead.(Or, a few instances out of many in which Chan finally catches a few hours of sleep, helped by his boyfriends, mates, and those he loves.)EDIT 9/12/20 - This story (as well as the entire AU itself) has been edited to be OT8 only.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Series: Our Eternity [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558573
Comments: 10
Kudos: 262





	Forever by Your Side

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pinkpunchmango (Laughingvirus)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laughingvirus/gifts).



> **Title:** Forever by Your Side  
>  **Pairing(s):** Chan/Jisung, Chan/Felix, Chan/Changbin, Chan/Hyunjin, Chan/Minho  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word count:** ~11k  
>  **Author’s Note:** Hi hello, here we are again~ I’m honestly blown away by how many people have liked the first part and can only hope this one is just as good as the first one. Thank you so much for giving my stories a try ;;;
> 
> This actually got a lot sadder than I was anticipating...I really just wanted to write about cute wolf puppies and Chan sleeping but then plot actually came in somewhere in the middle >< I’m also really sorry to Jeongin for not being able to fit him in here as well as I did for the others T_____T He will have more parts in the future, I swear T___T
> 
> Also, disclaimer that even though I refer to Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin as “puppies,” (because they are young in wolf years despite maturing faster in human years), all eight of the boys are of legal age in human years. There’s also talk of being naked in relation to shifting into a wolf, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please please stay safe and don’t read this.
> 
> **EDIT 9/12/20 - This story (as well as the entire AU itself) has been edited to be OT8 only.**

“-now?”

“No, he needs to sleep.”

“He does, but if he keeps sleeping, his sleep schedule will be even more messed up than it already is.”

“Please, he doesn’t even have a sleep schedule.”

“Fair, but we still need to wake him up. He isn’t going to want to miss lunch.”

Chan honestly isn’t sure if he’s still sleeping. The conversation is mundane enough that he hopes his dreams aren’t this boring, but Chan doesn’t really remember much of what he dreams about anyways so he can’t really be sure one way or the other.

“Channie,” someone who sounds suspiciously like Minho calls softly. Chan only hums, both him and his wolf basking in how pretty Minho’s voice sounds in the early morning. A dream or not, Minho’s voice will always be soothing to Chan.

“Chan,” Minho repeats, this time with a shake to his shoulder that has Chan grumbling. He’s warm, damn it, why can’t he just go back to sleep to the sweet lullaby that Minho’s voice is generously offering him?

“I told you,” someone that sounds like Changbin says, but Chan is too tired to figure out who it is, already drifting back off to sleep.

There’s a long sigh that makes it through the haze of his barely conscious thoughts. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but we’re going to have to get Jisung.”

 _Jisung_ his wolf yips happily, his proverbial tail wagging at the mention of one of his other mates.

 _I’m sleep_ his human brain mumbles back, only feeling slightly sorry for how his wolf deflates before settling down once more.

Chan snuggles further into his sheets, sighing happily at the warmth the blankets and the sun shining through the window are providing him. Sleep is so rare for him that he’ll take anything he can get.

Chan is just about to fall asleep again, mere seconds away from falling back into dreamland, when he hears the sound of his door opening and the excited pitter-patter of feet rushing towards him. Immediately on guard, Chan opens his eyes just in time to see Jisung’s excited smile before he’s wheezing from the sudden weight on his chest, ribs feeling like they’re about to break from the impact.

“Good morning,” Jisung sings, nuzzling his face into Chan’s shoulder and wrapping arms around his waist.

And although human Chan is disgruntled, still toeing the line between being half-asleep and fully awake, his wolf is jumping for joy. It really doesn’t take much to make his wolf excited – really, Chan just needs to look at one of the seven boys and his wolf starts wagging his tail – but there’s no denying Jisung is one of his favorites. It isn’t fair to play favorites, but Chan will always have a soft spot for Jisung due to the simple fact that he has known Jisung the longest.

Eventually, like clockwork, his wolf’s happiness becomes contagious, Chan waking up more and more with every kiss Jisung presses onto his skin.

“Morning,” Chan eventually greets, clearing his throat when the word comes out scratchy.

Jisung pulls away from his neck with the cutest smile in the world, the one that isn’t so big it takes up his entire face but still conveys just how happy Jisung is. Chan had been warm before, but there’s nothing that can compare to the warmth he feels from Jisung looking at him with so much love.

The Look, though, is too much to handle this early in the morning, so Chan does the first thing that comes to mind, leaning forward just a bit so he can kiss Jisung for the briefest of moments. He still hasn’t brushed his teeth yet so it stays short, Chan laughing when Jisung tries to follow his lips for more kisses when Chan pulls away.

“Let me brush my teeth first, then we can kiss more, okay baby?” Chan offers.

“Okay!” Jisung agrees easily. He has always been easy to convince when kisses are involved, something that Chan finds completely adorable. Relatable, too, if Chan is being honest.

(And if Minho comes up to Chan’s room later when neither he nor Jisung _still_ haven’t come down for lunch to see Chan and Jisung borderline making-out, then well, at least Chan is awake and has clean teeth.)

☾

It’s a blessedly beautiful day out, the sun shining through the windows and bathing everything in a soft yellow glow. Chan feels like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin from excitement from how perfect it is outside. They were going to go out and play no matter what, but it’s always more fun when the weather is as gorgeous as it is now. The worst is when it rains, because although his wolf finds playing in the mud absolutely entertaining, the cleanup isn’t nearly as worth the brief satisfaction.

“Come on puppies,” Chan calls out, knowing that they’re close enough he doesn’t have to yell too loudly to be heard. They all know what day it is, always so excited that they never stray too far from the back door.

“I’m not a puppy,” Seungmin says by way of greeting, huffing at Chan when Chan only raises an eyebrow in his direction.

“You’re totally a puppy,” Jisung retorts as he enters the room, snickering when Seungmin glares at him.

“You and Felix may be puppies, but I am not,” Seungmin argues. Chan really doesn’t have the heart to tell him that they’re all puppies compared to him, so he keeps quiet and listens to Seungmin and Jisung bicker for the millionth time. He has learned by now to let them go at each other than try and stop them because it’s more beneficial for literally everyone if they bicker it out. 

(Chan still mourns the poor lamp that didn’t make it out alive when Seungmin had flung it off the table after a particularly heated argument that had been building for days.

He had been worried sick the entire night knowing he should’ve caught on to the signs earlier, finally convincing himself to go talk to the both of them only to find Jisung and Seungmin curled up together on Jisung’s bed. And if Chan had noticed that their lips were slightly kiss-swollen, he pretended to be none the wiser. But only after he talked to them about healthy communication, they hadn’t been able to get out of that one.)

As the two of them continue bickering, Felix all but skips into the kitchen, the sunshine coming in through the windows bathing him in a soft glow and enhancing the cute freckles on his cheeks.

“I’m here!” Felix says, bouncing in place with residual energy. He’s cute, so incredibly cute.

“Alright,” Chan says, clapping his hands together to get everyone’s attention. Jisung and Seungmin stop talking to stare at him with rapt attention, even though they’ve all heard this speech before. “You know the rules, don’t wander too far and try not to get too physical.” He specifically looks at Jisung and Seungmin when he says that, Jisung whistling and avoiding eye contact while Seungmin only shrugs in that _I’ll try, but make no promises_ way of his.

With a long suffering sigh, Chan accepts that that’s going to be as good as he’s going to get. “Alright, let’s go.”

Felix is the first one out the door, whooping loudly as he runs off towards the middle of their backyard. There’s no shame between any of them at this point, all eight of them having seen each other in some state of undress for as long as they’ve been living together, but out here, there’s even less shame. Felix promptly strips his shirt off and throws it to the side with a whoop, Chan laughing at the action. How he wishes he had that much energy in the morning, much less in general.

In no time at all, Felix has taken the rest of his clothes off and is shifting right away, two legs turning into four at a speed that Chan is so incredibly proud of. When Felix had first started living at the house, it had taken him up to ten minutes to fully focus enough to shift, so seeing him shift so naturally now makes Chan smile. Felix has made so much progress, it’s incredible to witness.

Yipping happily, Felix starts running in circles, becoming a little grey blur from how fast he’s moving around.

“Felix is so cute,” Seungmin sighs fondly, making no move to remove any of his clothes.

Jisung hums as he takes his shirt off. “Now, now, there’s no need to be jealous because you could never be that cute.”

Chan already sees the argument coming a mile away, so he simply steps to the side so he won’t get caught in the crossfire.

“You want to say that again?” Seungmin asks, tone sweet but smile dangerous.

Jisung, the poor thing, doesn’t even notice, too busy with finding a nice spot to put his clothes. “You could never be that cute.”

And that’s all it takes, Seungmin growling before stripping at an almost inhuman speed. Jisung yelps once he notices Seungmin has already shifted and is bearing his teeth in Jisung’s direction, shifting quickly before sprinting off with Seungmin right on his literal tail.

Chan’s only left to shake his head fondly as he picks up Seungmin’s clothes. Seungmin has always been more meticulous when it comes to shifting, more careful in that he doesn’t like to be looked at. They all respect his decision of course, either turning the other direction or shifting first and letting Seungmin go off by himself to shift before joining them. Chan has a hunch, though, that Jisung riling Seungmin up was partly in order to help him be more comfortable with shifting with them. That and because he just flat-out likes to get on Seungmin’s nerves from time to time.

Once he has folded all of their clothes and placed them in neat piles by the doorway, Chan strips and folds his clothes too.

It’s only then that he shifts, not even two seconds going by before his skin is replaced with fur, two legs replaced with four. Chan always feels so much more attuned to nature in this form, her magic running through him, caressing him like she’s welcoming him home. And he is in a way, the forest just as much his home as the one he has built with his boys.

Chan leans onto his two back legs before stretching forward onto his two front paws, shaking a leg out as he gets used to being in this form. Chan has shifted so many times it’s second nature to him, but even now, it can still take a few seconds to re-orient himself.

Light growling to his right causes his ears to perk up, but he only snorts when he sees the other three scrambling around each other. Seungmin can say he’s not a puppy all he wants, but the fact is that he’s still nowhere near close to being a full-fledged adult wolf. None of them are, to be frank, but Chan will admit that despite all of them being the same age in human-years, there are definitely quite a few differences between them in wolf years.

Jisung might be the oldest of the three in human years, but Seungmin is the largest wolf, legs longer and body leaner than the others. It isn’t by much, really, but it’s enough to be able to give him an advantage that he most definitely uses to knock Jisung over and start nipping at his ears, Jisung helpless as he tries and fails to get away.

Felix, though, is by far the smallest by all accounts, his tiny legs not nearly long enough to keep up with Jisung and Seungmin. But what he lacks in size, he makes up for with enthusiasm, knocking into Jisung and Seungmin with cute little growls that Seungmin and Jisung both take in stride, pretending to fall over so that Felix can climb on top of them with a happy yip, his tail wagging furiously.

Chan only feels warmth as he looks at them running around and having fun. Despite a lot of wolves preferring to be alone most of the time even when they’re in a pack, Chan has never been like that, constantly needing to be around someone, anyone, to fill the loneliness in his heart. Even though he found companions here and there, it used to be him by himself for far too long. But now he has boyfriends, mates, friends that he can call his. He’s never going to be alone again, and it’s so relieving.

While the puppies play, Chan prowls around the edges of their property to make sure everything is as it should be. Having passed the puppy phase long ago and no longer needing to run around to dispel any excess energy, Chan focuses his energy on making sure his family is safe. Despite having enhanced senses in both forms, it’s always easier in this form, being more attuned to nature and all of the sounds and scents.

Once Chan’s check is complete and he finds nothing out of place, he turns back towards the puppies.

Jisung is the one chasing Seungmin now, barking as he makes to bite Seungmin’s tail every few seconds. Felix is off to the side, panting as he lays his head on his paws, most likely tired out from Jisung and Seungmin’s shenanigans.

Chan suddenly smiles to himself, tail wagging as he waits for the right moment.

It comes seconds later, Jisung pouncing on Seungmin, the two of them tumbling around in alternating colors of russet and white for a bit before stopping, the two of them panting as they lay on their sides.

Chan waits a few more seconds, leaning back on his hind legs before taking off, sprinting towards the three of them with a sharp bark.

It gets the three of them to yelp, scrambling up and running away with yips of laughter as Chan chases them around their backyard.

Just because Chan isn’t a puppy anymore doesn’t mean he still can’t have some _fun_.

He has felt a lot of happiness in his life, most, if not all, of his happiest moments being those he has spent with his seven boys, but there’s just something special about letting go and acting like a pup again that brings a certain type of giddiness.

Chan targets Seungmin first for the simple fact that he had been the closest when he started this impromptu game of tag. He’s easy to catch even with Chan going easy on him, Seungmin giving him the most disgruntled expression possible when Chan catches him and licks his face.

Huffing out a laugh, Chan bounds away, his long legs making it impossible for Seungmin to keep up with him no matter how hard he tries.

Eventually, after Chan has caught all of them and played with them for a little longer, he settles down off to the side, content to simply watch them play. Despite not having run around that much, he’s panting heavily. The puppies have so much energy and Chan is getting _old_. Well he isn’t that old, not for a wolf, but it sure feels like it every time his back hurts or his limbs ache. The others certainly don’t let him forget how “old” he is, either.

Settling down, curled up on his side with his head in his paws, Chan watches the three of them with the warm afternoon sun shining on his back. Even though he tries to fight it, he’s so warm and he’s so tired, the sleepless nights catching up to him, each blink becoming heavier than the last.

The next time Chan opens his eyes, it’s still bright out, but it’s completely silent. Panic-mode on, Chan frantically searches the field for any traces of the boys – their clothes are still on the patio, which could either be very good or very bad. They’re smart enough to not wander off without Chan, but that still doesn’t explain _where they are_.

Just as Chan’s fight or flight mode starts to kick in, there’s a tiny snuffling sound near his stomach. Looking down towards the source of the noise, Chan feels his body immediately relax when he sees the three puppies curled up in the leftover space between his stomach and legs.

Felix’s tiny body is half on top of Jisung’s, who is completely sprawled out in a heap of limbs, russet-colored fur shining in the sun. Seungmin is curled into the cutest little ball of white fur next to them, all of their chests rising and falling steadily.

He really should wake them up so they can sleep in their own beds in human form, but he knows how tiring it can be to be stuck in human form for so long when their wolves are just puppies. Because even though Chan had learned to control his urges long ago, he still remembers what it feels like to be a puppy.

 _Just this once_ , he thinks, settling back down again, curling up a little tighter around the sleeping puppies. _I’ll let it go just this once._

Later, when they’ve all woken up and changed, Seungmin sends Chan a very unimpressed stare.

“What?” Chan wonders innocently, knowing full well what Seungmin is still thinking about.

Seungmin drops the act in favor of pouting. “Did you really have to _lick_ me?”

And Chan is absolutely weak when it comes to any of the boys pouting. He may not be dating Seungmin, but there’s no doubt Chan loves all of them, and he’s weak, so weak, in the face of a cutie like Seungmin.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly, but Seungmin only rolls his eyes before pressing a kiss to Chan’s cheek to let him know he has been forgiven, Chan smiling like a fool for hours afterwards.

☾

“Chan?”

Chan looks up from the paper he’s looking over to see Felix shyly peeking around Chan’s bedroom door. As the head of the house, Chan takes it upon himself to be as available as possible for any of the boys, leaving his door open at all times so they know they can always come to him. As a mate, boyfriend, and friend, Chan takes it upon himself to do anything and everything to make them all happy.

“Hey,” Chan greets softly, sending Felix a smile. “Come in.”

The smile Felix sends Chan back as he fully steps into the room is small, so unlike the bright one that’s usually sent Chan’s way. That, combined with the way Felix is fiddling with his sweater sleeves, tells Chan all that he really needs to know. But he waits for Felix to tell him himself, never wanting to assume what the problem is before he has all of the information even though all he wants to do right now is pull Felix into his lap and kiss his cheeks until he’s glowing with happiness.

Eventually, Felix whispers, “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, baby,” Chan says softly, opening his arms for Felix. It’s all the invitation Felix needs, clambering into Chan’s lap and curling up into a little ball.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to sleep for hours, but it isn’t working, and I don’t want to be a burden, but I just...really don’t want to be alone right now,” Felix manages to get out, his fingers clinging to Chan’s grey hoodie for dear life.

Rubbing a soothing hand up and down Felix’s back, Chan presses a kiss to his forehead. “You could never be a burden, baby. Never. Especially because of something you can’t control.”

Chan could write an entire book about insomnia at this point, understands far too well how hard it can be to simply shut his brain off for more than two hours at a time. Everyone has their demons, who is Chan to judge them? It’s another reason why he leaves his door open, knows that the demons come when they please and rarely leave even when begged to. If he can offer the boys even a shred of comfort, it’s worth it.

“Do you want to shift?” Chan asks sometime later. He remembers it being helpful for him when he was younger, and even now, there’s a certain calm that being in wolf form gives him.

“Really?” Felix asks, pulling back to look up at Chan with large, sad, yet sparkly eyes. It breaks Chan’s heart to see Felix like this, so tired yet so helpless. Chan’s always been a firm believer that Felix should be happy all the time because it’s what he deserves for being so lovely.

“Of course,” Chan replies. His eyes trace over Felix’s freckles, a familiar path that Chan will never, ever get tired of mapping out. Felix is so breathtakingly beautiful without even trying, but Chan thinks he likes Felix the best when he’s here in his arms. His wolf agrees, too, rumbling happily when Felix shifts closer. “It used to help me, so if you think it can help you, too, then I don’t see any harm in trying it out.”

Still, even though Felix has direct permission to shift, he looks at Chan like the privilege will be taken away at a moment’s notice. Some habits are harder to break than others, Chan knows this better than anyone.

Chan nods to let Felix know that it’s okay, sending him a soft smile to really drive the point home. Felix looks like he’s been given the best gift he ever could’ve received, eyes wide and sparkling for another, happier reason now.

“Let me just lay down in bed first, okay? Then we can cuddle,” Chan says, placing one last kiss to Felix’s forehead before gently setting him on the floor.

As Felix prepares to shift, Chan makes sure he has his phone and the papers he was working on before lounging in his bed. He doesn’t have much faith in his body tonight given that it’s three in the morning and he still feels wide awake. He might as well continue to get some work done.

Just as Chan gets comfortable, Felix jumps up onto the bed, wobbling slightly from the landing. Laughing, Chan runs a hand from Felix’s tiny head to his tail, scrunching his nose up when Felix happily licks his fingers.

“Gross, Lix,” Chan complains, but Felix only lets his tongue loll out of his mouth, looking up at Chan with eyes full of mirth. It’s amazing, how easily Felix can express himself in wolf form and how easily Chan can understand him.

Chan lays down fully as Felix sniffs around, getting used to the smells on his bed – it only hits Chan, then, that Felix has never been in this form in Chan’s room before. Chan is a fairly clean and neat person, but he knows there are a few pieces of laundry that he hasn’t gotten around to washing in a while, and can only hope Felix doesn’t find those.

Luckily, Felix doesn’t seem to find anything too bad, barking softly to gain Chan’s attention.

Felix is looking up at Chan beseechingly, sitting cutely on top of the black hoodie he had worn yesterday and forgot to put in the laundry basket.

“Yes?” Chan asks, indulging Felix. He’s better than the paperwork waiting for Chan, that’s for sure, and Chan will willingly take any distraction, especially if it’s in the form of Felix.

Felix only juts his nose out at Chan’s lap with a whine. It takes a while, but Chan figures it out, cooing as he scoops Felix up with one hand and places him on his lap. The undignified yelp Felix lets out is so cute that Chan can barely stand it, and it’s most definitely worth the small bite Felix delivers to his thigh in retaliation. 

“Sorry, you’re just so cute,” Chan coos, petting through the soft grey fur on Felix’s back. Felix merely pushes his head into Chan’s hand, grumbling happily when Chan runs soft fingers over his ears.

He continues petting Felix with one hand as he looks through his phone with the other, the papers he brought over be damned. It’s too early to be thinking about finances.

Felix lets out a yawn suddenly, Chan lifting his hand momentarily to let Felix curl up on his chest. He’s so, so tiny, Chan’s entire hand could cover him when he’s this curled up, his entire body small enough to fit on Chan’s chest and still have space left to move around. He’s almost certain Felix can hear how quickly his heart is beating, but Felix seems to pay it no mind, yawning once again before settling his head on his paws, eyes slipping shut.

Chan starts to pet Felix absentmindedly, relaxing more and more the longer he does so. A familiar thought makes its way to the forefront of his mind, one that he tries not to entertain for too long, but it’s persistent today, knocking on the door of Chan’s conscience.

Even though he has said time and time again that he’s content just living in this house with the seven boys, that even though he loves them, it’s okay if they don’t all love him in the same way, Chan still _yearns_. He likes to think he hides it quite well, for the absolute last thing he wants to do is make anyone uncomfortable. But more often than not these days, Chan’s imagination starts to run wild, thinking about how much more lovely Felix’s kisses would be when pressed to his lips as his boyfriend, how adorable Seungmin would be curled up against Chan in the early morning, how endearing Jeongin would be when Chan accidentally on purpose holds his hand when they both reach for the popcorn at the movies.

For now, though, for now Chan is just happy that he gets to live with the people he loves with his entire heart and that is more than Chan could’ve ever asked for. After everything he has been through, these boys are his saviors just as much as he seems to be theirs.

The last conscious thought Chan has before drifting off to sleep, the warmth from Felix on his chest and the warmth from thinking about his boys flowing throughout his body, is that he hopes they’ll be able to stay together forever.

☾

One of Chan’s favorite things is being allowed to sit in Changbin’s work space and let the beat of the music flow through him. Chan’s a firm believer that Changbin is the most talented producer he has ever met, and makes sure to let Changbin know just as much at any given opportunity.

Such as now, Chan’s eyes wide as he looks at a sheepish Changbin fiddling with the keys on his keyboard to stop the song from repeating once the last note tapers off.

“You made this?” Chan asks, not even bothering to hide the awe in his voice. Sure, Chan likes to dabble in making music every once in a while when inspiration strikes or insomnia is being a bigger bitch than usual, but he could never in a million years think to produce something of this quality.

“Yeah,” Changbin replies, the cutest blush on his cheeks. “I still have to fix a few sections, but I’m pretty much done with it.”

“Wow,” Chan breathes out, still so in awe. It had been a sweet song, albeit a little sad at times because of the melody, but there’s no denying the overall feeling of hope, of every raw emotion that was felt when Changbin had made the song. It’s clear every lyric, every rap, was written with such care to best express a forever kind of love worth protecting. “It’s beautiful, Binnie. Whichever company you made it for is lucky to be receiving such a masterpiece.”

Changbin doesn’t respond for a few seconds, Chan looking over in confusion to see Changbin with the brightest blush Chan has ever seen on his cheeks.

“I uh. I didn’t actually make it for a company, I already sent that one in last week.”

Tilting his head, Chan asks, “Who did you make it for, then?”

Changbin starts fiddling with his jacket, Chan zeroing in on the familiar nervous motion. “I uh...I just wrote it. Got the inspiration one day and couldn’t stop thinking about it, so here we are.”

It’s clear Changbin is embarrassed, and while Chan absolutely adores seeing Changbin with a pretty flush to his cheeks, he knows Changbin can still be overwhelmed sometimes by too much attention. Chan firmly believes Changbin deserves all of the love and affection in the world, but he also knows when to tone it down.

Smiling softly, Chan asks, “Can I listen to it again? Is that okay?”

Changbin’s shoulders visibly drop at that, an easy smile appearing as he says, “Of course.”

It’s so much more beautiful the second time, little bits and pieces and chords Chan hadn’t noticed the first time creating a delicate balance with the raw emotion of the lyrics. Now that Chan somewhat understands what this is about, _who_ this is about, the lyrics hit a little differently, a little more softly to Chan’s weak heart. He hadn’t thought it was possible to love Changbin more than he already does, but Changbin has somehow managed to give Chan a reason to.

There are, however, a few voices that Chan notices aren’t Changbin mixed in now that he’s listening closely, Chan furrowing his eyebrows when the song finishes because he swears that was Jisung hitting some of those high notes and Hyunjin’s higher pitch with a small rap section in the middle.

“Did you get some of the boys to sing parts of this?” Chan wonders once the song has tapered off again.

“Yeah,” Changbin responds softly, fingers plucking at his jacket sleeves again. “Jisung was really excited when I showed it to him and wouldn’t stop pestering me about it until I let him try to record something.” Changbin rolls his eyes here, but Chan can see from a mile away how fond it is, knows Changbin wouldn’t have let Jisung do it if he didn’t want him to do it to begin with. “Hyunjin, well, I had to convince him for a while until he agreed, but he did his part in three takes. He’s a lot better than he thinks he is.”

Chan doesn’t miss the fond smile on Changbin’s face as he talks about the two, a smile of his own making its way onto his face. Changbin is really so cute sometimes without even realizing it and it drives Chan crazy. He truly doesn’t know how he ended up being lucky enough to date someone like Changbin, that Changbin found something in him worth trusting with both his life and his delicate heart. And this song, too. The fact that Changbin is comfortable enough to share such a personal song with Chan, with Jisung, with Hyunjin, it really means a lot to Chan, to know they’re worth trusting with Changbin’s heart.

“That sounds like them,” Chan replies, chuckling.

“Actually,” Changbin starts, only to stop, biting his lip. Gently, Chan untangles Changbin’s fingers that had been twisted in his jacket, softly folding his fingers into the space between Changbin’s. Chan isn’t sure if the soft smile that appears on Changbin’s face is intentional or not, but it’s such a pretty sight that Chan isn’t going to question it. “I was wondering if maybe you could, I don’t know, sing part of it, too? I just...you’ve shown me some of your demos before and I think your voice could really fit well in parts of the chorus. Not that you have to, of course! I’ll understand if you say no.”

“Binnie,” Chan calls out, fond beyond belief. “I would love to, you have no idea how much it would mean to me to be part of something so personal to you.”

At that, Changbin flushes, either from the fact that Chan has figured out just what the song means or from the way Chan knows he’s looking at Changbin like he hung the stars in the sky.

Either way, the way Changbin looks up and meets Chan’s eyes before smiling at him is worth it, Chan’s heart fluttering at such a simple gesture and his wolf barking happily from the affection.

Over the next few days, Chan finds himself in Changbin’s studio, recording and re-recording and re-recording again. Chan thinks he’s done pretty well so far considering he doesn’t sing seriously all too often these days, but he’s a perfectionist to a fault and none of the versions of this one particular line had felt right to him, nor had they felt quite right to Changbin if the soft twist of his mouth every time Chan finished the line was any indication.

Letting out a sigh, throat starting to feel scratchy from how often he has been practicing and singing, Chan tugs the earphones off and hangs them around his neck. “I’m sorry, Binnie. I don’t know why I can’t get it right.”

“It’s okay, come take a break,” Changbin says, giving Chan a smile from outside the small recording booth.

Chan flops down onto the couch once he exits the booth, making grabby hands at Changbin, who only rolls his eyes.

“You’re such a big baby sometimes,” Changbin says, but he still folds into Chan’s hold regardless.

Chan snuggles closer, his wolf humming in content once he wraps his arms around Changbin’s tiny waist. Chan’s wolf has always been touchy, preening under even the slightest bit of attention and Chan finds that he’s much the same these days, reluctant to let go or move if he’s tangled up with another one of the boys.

It’s much the same right now, Chan and Changbin talking as Chan all but clings to him, happy to take a short break. He’s upset he hasn’t been able to get this one bothersome line down, but sitting here and simply hearing Changbin talk about how he saw someone with a bouquet of roses the other day and it made him think of Hyunjin, smiling as he recounts the memory, settles something within Chan. Changbin has such a pretty smile, soft around the edges yet no less bright, beautiful. It might be the constant state of sleep deprivation or it might be the constant state of being a lovesick fool, but Chan swears the room gets just that much brighter when Changbin smiles.

“Why are you looking at me so intensely?” Changbin questions, Chan blinking as he returns back to the present.

Now, Chan has always been an honest person, so there’s not even a second that passes by before he says, “You’re just so pretty when you smile, I can’t help it.”

“Get off,” Changbin grumbles, making to move out of Chan’s grip, but Chan’s hold is stronger and Changbin isn’t putting up much of a fight anyways.

“No,” Chan says, dragging the word out. “Don’t go.”

Changbin sighs like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, but he settles back down per Chan’s request. “Fine, but only for five more minutes. Then we’re recording again.”

“Aye aye!” Chan says, laughing when Changbin sighs again, but his lips twitch at the corners. Changbin can deny it all he wants, but it’s obvious that he enjoys cuddling and Chan has been told many times he’s a fantastic cuddling partner.

True to his word, though, Chan does go back to record five minutes later despite how much his wolf whines at him in displeasure.

Changbin has that soft smile on his face again as he looks at Chan through the glass. “I believe in you, you’re going to do great.”

And Chan feels it this time, instinctively knows that Changbin is telling the truth, that something is different.

Closing his eyes and letting the song filter through his headphones, Chan counts down the beats until it’s his part.

It’s perfect, the most perfect it has sounded in all of the takes he has done, and he knows this is the final take. Chan’s sure his smile is splitting his face, dimples on full display, as he smiles at Changbin, who has the happiest expression on his face as he absolutely beams at Chan.

“That was perfect! Come listen, come listen.”

Changbin’s happiness is infectious, the both of them giddy as Changbin plays the part back once Chan is sitting by his side again, a hand on Changbin’s thigh.

“I think you’re all done now,” Changbin says when the music fades out once more, Chan’s voice now a permanent part of the recording.

“Binnie,” Chan calls, fidgeting in place a bit. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but...can I maybe have a copy of the song? It’s just, it’s just so pretty. I understand if you say no, though, it’s yours after all, please don’t feel obligated to say yes just because I’m asking.”

Changbin sputters, cheeks turning a pretty pink. “I was going to give you one actually, but um. I wanted to ask the other boys if they want to sing parts of it, too. I like this version with the four of us. But I think eight would be better.”

“Oh Binnie,” Chan says, heart absolutely melting. He’s so, so proud of Changbin and how far he has come, feeling so elated that Changbin trusts them enough to share a piece of his heart like this. “That sounds lovely, I’m sure they would love that.”

“Yeah?” Changbin asks softly.

“Yeah,” Chan responds, falling in love all over again when Changbin smiles at him.

_Please just smile next to me like you are now._

A few days later, Chan’s humming Changbin’s song to himself as he rifles through the cupboards for a snack when Minho comes in and asks, “What song are you humming? It sounds really pretty.”

Chan only smiles to himself as he grabs a box of choco pies. “It’s a secret.”

Minho huffs, but easily quiets down once Chan kisses him.

Weeks later, Chan pulls their song up on his phone for the millionth time since Changbin had synced his phone up and downloaded the file onto it. The sweetest smile had been on Changbin’s face when the file had finished downloading and he had thanked Chan for giving him the courage to finish it because it’s so much more beautiful than he ever could’ve imagined. It had taken a lot not to cry right then and there, but the shy kiss Changbin had pressed to his lips had been distraction enough.

As the familiar beat flows throughout his room, the soft intro note bleeding into Seungmin’s slightly husky voice, Chan feels his body relax immediately, the song a lost lullaby that Chan has been unconsciously searching for for years. It doesn’t work all of the time, but this song is so soothing on every level that Chan has miraculously managed to fall asleep a handful of times, even his wolf quieting down when Chan listens to the song. And his wolf never does that, always alert for Chan when Chan doesn’t have the mental capacity to be. He’s pretty sure it’s because all of the boys are singing in it, his wolf always more calm when he hears any of them, even in song form, because he knows they’re here, they’re safe.

Curling further into his blankets, Chan lets himself drift off to the melody of their love story.

_I remember the day we first met..._

☾

It’s so disorienting waking up after a much deserved rest sometimes, Chan squinting and bleary-eyed as he tries to get his bearings together. Despite it being the tail end of Fall, Chan is warmer than the season warrants, especially considering he went to sleep only in a pair of light sweatpants.

The answer greets him when he tries to stretch, only to find that there’s someone else in bed with him, flower petals strewn everywhere because Hyunjin always without fail moves around in his sleep. Softly picking a rose petal out of Hyunjin’s black strands and delicately tracing a finger over it, it hits him that Hyunjin had wiggled into Chan’s bed yesterday, eyes pleading as he asked if they could watch a movie because he has missed Chan so much recently. And there was absolutely nothing that could’ve stopped the rush of overwhelming affection Chan had for Hyunjin at hearing that, so he had agreed easily. No matter what time of day it is, no matter what he’s doing, he will always, always put his boys first.

When Chan looks back down, he finds Hyunjin is already awake, his pretty eyes staring up at Chan from where he’s curled into Chan’s chest. He could get lost in Hyunjin’s eyes forever, from the stars that are in them to the lone falling star under his left eye that Chan loves so much.

“Good morning,” Hyunjin says softly, a sleepy smile on his face.

“Morning,” Chan whispers back, and even though it’s gross because they haven’t brushed their teeth yet, Chan can’t help but kiss Hyunjin. He looks so beautiful, so content wrapped up in Chan’s arms, there’s nothing else he _can_ do except kiss him, really.

Hyunjin cups his cheek when they pull apart, more flower petals littering his skin at the touch. It’s a familiar feeling, the petals soft as they kiss Chan’s skin just as Hyunjin’s lips are soft as he presses them against Chan’s once more.

“My pretty flower,” Chan mumbles once they pull back again. The blush that stains Hyunjin’s cheeks is so breathtaking, Chan and his wolf humming happily at the sheer amount of love he has for this boy in his arms.

“You and your stray petals are so cute,” Chan says and it’s so fond, even he can hear it.

“You’re cuter,” Hyunjin refutes, running a hand through Chan’s no doubt unruly curls.

Chan only kisses Hyunjin to stop him right there because there’s nothing worse than getting complimented in the morning. His defenses are much lower, making Chan much more susceptible to compliments, his resulting blush even more prominent than usual, which is saying something given how pale he already is. Minho likes to frequently tease him in the mornings, claiming that he blushes so beautifully, but he absolutely refuses to let Hyunjin join in on this. It’s his job to say the sappy stuff and he refuses to let that be taken from him. His weak heart wouldn’t be able to handle it, either.

Time is lost as they lay there, kissing, breathing, existing. Chan doesn’t even know what time it is, but time is irrelevant when he’s in his own little cocoon tucked away from reality with a boy who makes his heart race by simply existing.

“Channie,” Hyunjin says. His lips are still swollen, Chan perhaps having gotten a _little_ carried away with the kissing, but Hyunjin had been just as bad if the way he feels his lips are kiss-swollen and his hair is a frizzy mess atop his head is anything to say. 

“Yes, my love?”

“We have to get up now,” Hyunjin whispers, like it’s some kind of secret.

Chan scrunches his nose in distaste, filter completely absent as sleep still clings to him. “Why? Can’t I just stay here with you?”

Hyunjin laughs at that, pecking his check quickly before getting out of bed. Both Chan and his wolf whine unhappily at the lack of physical contact, but Hyunjin merely says, “Sorry, but I promised Innie we would hang out today, so I can’t keep him waiting.”

And then he’s off, like a little hurricane, but instead of leaving destruction in his wake, he leaves flower petals and overwhelming fondness instead.

It takes a while, but Chan manages to drag himself out of bed. He still needs to shower, but his stomach is demanding attention, grumbling loudly. Eating first for one day won’t kill him, so with a shrug, Chan makes his way towards the kitchen, hoping and praying someone has left him some leftovers.

Minho is just about to pass by when Chan opens the door, and Chan smiles automatically at the sight of his mate.

“Good morning,” Chan greets.

“Good morning,” Minho says, an amused, yet knowing, look on his face as he looks Chan over. “Hyunjin again?”

Chan looks down to find a bunch of flower petals sticking to his shirt, a blush rising to his cheeks as he starts to pick them off one by one.

“Yeah,” Chan replies, even though the answer is quite obvious. He nearly startles when he feels a hand in his hair, but melts into the touch immediately as Minho runs light fingers through his hair.

There are a few rose petals in Minho’s hand when he pulls away, looking dainty even in his small palm. “They got lost in your curls,” he teases.

“Thanks,” Chan mutters, suddenly shy for reasons he will never understand. There has always been something about Minho that makes Chan so incredibly shy at times, seemingly out of nowhere. From the way he looks at Chan to the way Minho treats him so delicately despite him being a wolf, Chan can’t deny it feels nice, to be treated like something precious after everything that has happened in his life.

“Do you have any plans today?” Minho asks, eyes still soft as he looks at Chan.

“Not really,” Chan replies, shrugging. “I have some bills to pay, but that’s about it.”

“Do you want to stay in the library with me, then?”

There’s no denying it has been a while since they’ve been able to hang out together, especially in the library, both busy with their own things. It will always have a special place in Chan’s heart, because it’s _their_ place. Sure, everyone is free to use it, and they all find themselves lost in the books every once in a while, but for Chan, it’s so much more than a library. It’s one of his sanctuaries, many an hour spent lost between the pages of a good book. It’s the place where he and Minho had their first kiss, where he had asked Minho to be his mate, where he had claimed Minho by the heat of the fireplace.

It’s only then that Chan realizes just how long it has been since they’ve found each other in the library, and he yearns for it, but-

“I still need to eat and shower,” Chan says with a pout. But it isn’t a no, far from it. Chan could never say no to Minho, especially not for a request like this.

And Minho knows it too if they way his eyes are sparkling is any indication. “I left food for you in the fridge.”

“I love you,” Chan sighs out, once again wondering how he has managed to find someone so incredible in this lifetime, someone who loves him as much as he loves them.

“I love you, too,” Minho says, the cutest smile on his face, the one that causes his eyes to crinkle up into happy crescents.

In a surge of confidence usually absent in the morning, Chan catches Minho by the wrist and pulls him in closer for a kiss. Minho tastes like honey, the mix of sugar and Minho running through Chan’s veins as they kiss.

“Sweet,” Chan can’t help but say, licking his lips once they pull away to chase the taste of honey.

“It has nothing on you, though,” Minho replies, lips quirking at what is no doubt the new blush staining Chan’s cheeks. This is exactly why Chan doesn’t like to be around Minho in the mornings, but he’s never been good at denying himself of kisses no matter how much he gets teased.

“I’m going to leave now before I become a permanent tomato,” Chan grumbles, wishing not for the first time that he wasn’t so easy to fluster. No matter how many times he’s told that he looks cute when he blushes, he will never easily agree with the sentiment.

Chuckling softly, Minho presses a last, lingering kiss to his lips. “Then I’ll see you later, okay? Take your time.”

The _I’ll wait for you_ goes unsaid – Minho has always waited for him, no matter what or how long, loyal to a fault even though Chan is the wolf and not Minho.

It’s only fitting, considering how long Minho has waited for all of them, how long he has been aimlessly, unconsciously searching for love he never thought he could find or have.

“Okay,” Chan says, completely lost in the swirl of emotions in Minho’s pretty eyes. “I’ll come find you.”

Because for as long as Minho waits, Chan will always, always find him.

It’s about an hour later when Chan slips into the library, making sure to keep quiet as to not disturb Minho’s reading.

Chan heads over to the window by the fireplace instinctively, his feet taking him through the well-worn path that he could map out in his sleep. His breath hitches when Minho comes into view, the late fall sunlight bathing him in an almost otherworldly golden glow, highlighting his side profile and catching on the earring dangling from his ear. It’s the one Chan had gotten him for his birthday earlier this year, a simple waterfall design consisting of a circle connected to a thin silver chain, a tiny wolf dangling from the bottom. Chan has always known Minho is beautiful, but nothing could’ve ever prepared him for this sight.

Quickly, before he can even think, Chan is taking his phone out and snapping a picture, the click of the shutter overly loud in the otherwise serene atmosphere.

Minho looks up at the sound, eyes warm as he stares at Chan in amusement. “Did it come out nicely?”

Chan scoffs, offended that Minho would even dare to ask such a question considering how handsome he is. He also may not be as good with a camera as Seungmin or Hyunjin, but he’s not a total fool, either. “Of course.”

“Can I see?”

Chan shakes his head, teasingly locking his phone and putting it away. Minho pouts up at him, but even though Chan is a weak, weak man, he has had years to get used to such a sight. To be quite honest, though, he isn’t used to it in the slightest, his knees wobbling from how cute Minho looks, but Chan just needs to hold out a little longer, and then Minho will drop the act.

Just as Chan is on the cusp of giving in, Minho wrinkles his nose and turns back towards his book, grumbling, “You’re no fun.”

Letting out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, Chan closes the last remaining distance between the two of them, flopping onto the couch and immediately curling into Minho’s side.

“But?” Chan asks, knowing it’s coming.

Minho rolls his eyes, but there’s no doubt it’s a fond gesture more than anything – he would know, really, as he regularly does the same towards the other boys.

“But I love you,” Minho replies with all of the confidence and affection in the world, Chan all but melting at the words. He knows that he’s loved, their entire house is full of so much love that it’s impossible not to know, but there will always be a part of Chan that constantly seeks the reassurance. Luckily for him, there are always multiple people willing to indulge his silly requests.

As Minho goes back to reading, Chan stays curled up against his side. Chan had paid the bills before coming here, and while there’s always something that could be done around the house, all of the pressing matters have been taken care of. Besides, this is their time, an unspoken rule that whenever they meet here, no work is to be done.

Chan can’t help but think back to the picture, pulling his phone out to look at it again. It’s by far the prettiest picture Chan has ever taken of Minho (although he thinks that about every new picture he takes). Even Seungmin would be proud of how the lighting turned out, the softness of the light balanced out by the darker colors of the library and the dark blue of Minho’s cardigan. 

“Oh,” Minho suddenly says, Chan jumping slightly at the sudden noise right by his ear. “It is a nice picture.”

Flushing, Chan scrambles to put his phone away, but it’s too late now. He was planning on showing Minho the picture later, but he has never been quite able to shed his shyness about sharing pictures he has taken. Chan is absolutely positive his pictures are like windows into his soul, big, glaring glimpses as to how he feels at that current moment in time. And Chan isn’t that great at photography, hasn’t taken a class on it like Seungmin has, merely goes with the flow, but even to the untrained eye, it’s clear that the picture was taken with the utmost care.

Chan is almost scared to look at Minho, fears that he might just combust from how much affection he finds. But Chan thrives off of praise and sweet words more than anything, heart fluttering when he meets Minho’s gaze and sees nothing but pure, unfiltered love. It’s honestly an unusual sight, for Minho rarely lets his guard down so completely, but he’s let Chan in more and more over the years to the point where he doesn’t have to think, just be. His wolf whimpers, begging to be let out so he can show Minho just how much he loves him, too, but Chan holds back, settles for a long, lingering kiss instead.

Instinctively, Chan’s fingers trace a familiar path to the base of Minho’s neck where his claim mark lays, Minho shivering from the touch and Chan shivering from the feeling of the bond pulsing. Chan presses closer, the instinctive need to touch drawing him as close as possible to Minho and his addicting kisses.

Time is meaningless as they sit there tangled up in each other.

Chan pulls back first, the need for oxygen winning over the need to be kissing Minho only by a marginal amount. Honestly, if neither of them needed oxygen to breathe, there’s no telling what they would get up to, but as it is, they unfortunately need it.

It’s always so jarring seeing the aftermath of his kisses, Minho’s hair tousled, his lips red and oh so kissable. Suddenly shy after being faced with his actions, Chan averts his eyes, only peeking back over when Minho chuckles.

“You’re so cute, sweetheart.”

Chan lets out an embarrassing whimper at the nickname, only making him more shy – he doesn’t have a problem with kissing Minho silly, but of course he gets flustered over a _nickname_.

They settle down again, Chan nosing at Minho’s collarbones while Minho turns back to his book. But if the way that Minho spends more than a few minutes on each page when he’s a normally fast reader is anything to go by, he’s as distracted by Chan as Chan is by him. He doesn’t know what it is, but Chan can’t seem to sit still today, hands fidgety as they pick at Minhos’s cardigan or scratch his nose or smooth the almost non-existent wrinkles on his pants out.

“Hey,” Minho says, Chan immediately focusing on the sweet sound of Minho’s voice as Minho shifts to face him. Chan has always thought Minho has the prettiest voice, shivers racing down his spine whenever Minho speaks in a softer tone. “Do you want to shift? It has been a while, hasn’t it?”

At that, Chan freezes, mentally calculating the days that have gone by since he last shifted. If he remembers correctly, he had been with Jisung, watching over him as he slowly got used to his larger wolf body now that puberty was starting to hit. It’s almost painful how long it takes Chan to remember just how long ago that had been, but there’s no doubt it has been far too long since Chan has shifted, something he hadn’t even realized himself.

It’s just like Minho to notice tiny things like that, always keeping small tabs on all of them, making sure everyone is safe and healthy. Chan might be the head of the house, but there’s no doubt Minho is right there next to him despite how much he likes to deny it.

“You just want to see me naked,” Chan simpers nonetheless, never one to pass up the chance to tease.

Instead of laughing it off like Chan had been expecting, Minho’s eyes darken as he looks Chan up and down, a shiver running down his spine at the intensity of the stare. Chan’s favorite thing about Minho is how his eyes swirl with the unbridled power of the ocean, strong and beautiful in equal measure. It has never taken much for Chan to fall captive to Minho’s beauty, but over time, it has become less of a sharp pull and more of a gentle caress, as if he were peacefully floating in the ocean with his eyes closed because he knows nothing would ever happen to him.

“No comment,” he says eventually, the rough timber of his voice unmistakable.

The duality of Minho truly never fails to amaze Chan, how he can go from a soft, cuddly kitten to a ruthless tease in the snap of a finger.

“So. Shifting?” Chan squeaks out, making to move away so they don’t end up defiling the couch. Again.

Even though Minho’s eyes are still as dark as the night sky, he laughs, some of the tension in the room dissipating. “Go ahead, Channie. I’ll make sure to look away, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chan mutters as he lifts his sweatshirt over his head. “It isn’t anything you haven’t seen before, but suit yourself.”

“You were just judging me for wanting to see you naked, but now you’re implying you want me to see you naked? You have to make up your mind, Channie, I can’t read minds. Although I bet there are some interesting thoughts running through your head right now.”

“Hush,” Chan says, dropping his shirt and pants into a neat little pile in the corner of the loveseat. The corner of his lips curl up when he sees Minho lounging against the arm of the loveseat, eyes closed as promised.

After the rest of his clothing has been put away, Chan stretches before shifting, skin melting away and bones reformatting to make way for a wolf.

Whining, Chan nudges Minho’s stomach with his nose, looking up at Minho with a smile, tongue lolled out to the side.

Minho all but coos, and were this not a regular occurrence, Chan thinks he should probably feel a little miffed at how Minho treats him like a puppy. As it is, though, the affection and attention sparks something in the part of Chan that requires validation, and he pants happily as Minho scratches behind his ears. It’s even made better by the fact that Minho has very loudly proclaimed to be a cat person in the past, but easily makes exceptions for all of the wolves when it comes to showing affection for their other forms.

“I’ve missed you,” Minho coos, running tiny, but firm hands from his head to his back. Chan instinctively knows Minho is talking about his wolf form, but he still huffs petulantly, prompting Minho to roll his eyes. “Oh, you big baby. I see you everyday, let me have this moment.”

And honestly, there are worse things in this world than being pampered by Minho, Chan grumbling happily as Minho showers him and his wolf with love and affection in the form of kisses and pets. His wolf just about howls in delight when Minho runs fingers over his neck, the mirror image of where Minho’s claim mark lays on his own skin. Despite not having a bite mark of his own, Chan still feels the thrum of the bond under his skin, so much more attuned to the feeling of home in this form.

“You’re so sweet,” Minho sighs out, his hand a comforting spot on Chan’s back. They’ve migrated to the floor, Minho sitting with his legs stretched out, Chan curled up by his side and his head in his paws near Minho’s thighs. The crackling of the fireplace is but mere background noise, all of Chan’s senses focused on Minho, Minho, Minho. “You’re a high-level predator, yet you’re just a big old puppy around us.”

Chan tries his best to give Minho an unimpressed stare – he’s a wolf, damn it, he isn’t supposed to be cute - but the warmth of the fire and the peace of being in his wolf form after so long is getting to him, eyelids fluttering closed every few seconds.

“Sleep, puppy,” Minho whispers.

Chan huffs at the nickname, but Minho only raises a single eyebrow at him.

Knowing he isn’t going to win the argument (both because he literally can’t talk but also because no one can beat Minho in an argument), Chan only huffs again before settling down. To be honest, Chan misses the freedom that being a puppy brought, how he had no responsibilities, only tasked with learning how to navigate the world he had only started to get to know through another set of eyes, to be healthy, to be happy.

Minho starts humming their song under his breath, Chan’s eyelids fluttering closed at the now familiar melody, as he runs fingers through Chan’s fur.

The last conscious thought he has before sleep claims him is that he hopes Jisung and Seungmin never catch wind of this conversation, they would never let him hear the end of it if they knew he let Minho call him a puppy.

☾

Overwhelmed, Chan is overwhelmed.

Despite being in the middle of nature, Chan is so incredibly overwhelmed that he’s almost vibrating through his fur.

He should have known, really. His wolf had been restless all day yesterday and well into the night, nighttime bringing nothing but a fitful rest.

Chan doesn’t have nightmares often – nightmares are hard to come by when insomnia plagues him instead - but when they _do_ hit, they hit hard, Chan waking up with a skyrocketing pulse, unsure of what is real or not. It always feels so real, too close to home, shaking Chan to his core as the memories flash before his eyes over and over again.

It’s early, far too early for anyone to be up. Not even the birds are up and chirping yet, but Chan needs to breathe, he needs to be outside, needs to _run_ , the soft dirt under his paws and the sharp smell of nature in his lungs. Ironically, some of the memories that haunt him the most are set in the same place that comforts him the most. But this is now, and that was then.

But it can be so hard to distinguish, sometimes, the darkness of his past and the brightness of his future.

Chan doesn’t know how long he sits there in the middle of the field a ways away from their house, staring at everything yet nothing at all, mind running a mile a minute yet blank as a canvas. It could be minutes, it could be hours. All Chan knows is that he’s safe here, no one can hurt him when their scents permeate the air. He’s probably going to have to take the boys out for another patrol soon, the scent fading away too much in some places for Chan’s liking, but for now, it’s enough.

A twig snaps somewhere to his left, Chan’s ears twitching, body on high-alert. It isn’t until he catches the familiar scent that he calms down, russet fur coming into view seconds later.

Jisung has finally hit the phase that Chan likes to call Wolf Puberty, where he goes from literal puppy to young adult to almost, but not quite, an adult wolf in the matter of a year. It’s a tiring time for everyone involved, but Chan is just glad Jisung (and Seungmin and Felix) don’t have to go through it practically alone like he did.

Chan’s heart aches when he thinks back to the fact that Jisung was _just_ a puppy and now he’s larger, leaner. Still a puppy by all accounts, but no longer the cute little pup Chan knows. He’s going to miss how cute Jisung was, but he’s also so hopeful for what’s to come, fighting a smile as he thinks about how the two of them can go for a run together in the future, matching up pace by pace.

Jisung doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to for Chan to see the worry in his eyes. Having known each other the longest, Jisung knows Chan better than anyone, which means he also knows exactly when something is wrong and where to find Chan. Chan knows because the same happens to him when one of his mates is distressed, the bond pulsing with energy incessantly, but moreso in relation to Jisung.

Jisung nudges Chan with his snout, a soft whine leaving him. Chan relaxes at the touch, baring his neck for Jisung to nose around – Jisung knows Chan the best, but Chan also knows Jisung the best, knows that he needs to touch to know that everything is okay, needs to touch to try and make it right.

Closing his eyes, Chan focuses on Jisung’s ministrations, wants to focus on his beautiful mate instead of the anxiety plaguing his mind. He knows he isn’t alone, but the nightmares never let him forget just how alone he used to be before he found Jisung, before he found his boys.

Or really, Jisung found him, Chan’s little angel.

Jisung is trying to put out as many soothing emotions as possible, and while Jisung is still trying to master that particular ability, Chan can still feel it and is immensely grateful for it nonetheless. He truly doesn’t know what he would do without Jisung, without his boys.

At one point, Jisung takes to licking at his ears, Chan squirming away at the ticklish feeling. Jisung only barks out a laugh, his fur shining so beautifully in the morning sunlight.

Even though Jisung seems content with his actions thus far, Chan can tell he’s still worried, that he knows something is wrong and wants to help fix it. They’ve gone through this so many times now that Chan is slightly ashamed it keeps happening, but he trusts Jisung with his life, knows he and the others would never, ever judge him.

Chan nudges Jisung with a paw, their little signal to shift back, Jisung immediately bounding off to where Chan presumes he left his clothes. Laughing, Chan shakes his head before he makes to shift, a groan leaving his lips once he’s back in human form. Even though Chan doesn’t particularly get cold, it’s still freezing out, goosebumps appearing on his skin as he hurries to change.

Jisung comes back into the clearing just as Chan is tying his shoes, cheeks an adorable shade of pink as he runs over to press a kiss to Chan’s lips.

“Hi,” Jisung says, eyes twinkling so beautifully Chan swears he gets lost in them for more than a few seconds.

Almost as if by magic, Chan feels part of the anxious ball in his chest release.

“Hi,” Chan whispers, heart fluttering.

A soft kiss is pressed to his cheek, a hand grabbing his before intertwining their fingers together as they stand there, not saying anything but not needing to. Chan himself likes to offer comfort in any way he can, be it with touch or with words, but then it comes to himself, he has always found more comfort in touch. Words don’t mean much of anything to him when he can’t physically feel the person there with him.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung suddenly says, the strength of the words causing Chan to turn confused eyes towards him. Jisung has done absolutely nothing wrong – if anything, he has done so many things _right_ just by being here.

Jisung sighs softly. “It makes me sad to see you hurting, I’m sorry you have to keep going through this. I’m sorry that I can’t do anything, that-”

“Oh, sunshine,” Chan softens, pulling Jisung into a hug, Jisung’s fingers automatically clutching at the back of Chan’s shirt for dear life. In this position, Chan can feel clear as day how Jisung is shaking, each tiny tremor breaking Chan’s heart just a little more. How he wishes he would stop having nightmares if only to stop his boys from hurting for him.

“Listen to me, please sunshine,” Chan all but begs. “I love you, you and the boys are the best things that have ever happened to me. It isn’t your fault, just like it isn’t my fault. You are doing so much more than you think by finding me every single time this happens because just you being here is enough. It’s more than enough.”

Pulling away, Jisung looks up at Chan with watery eyes, but the determination on his face is no less obvious. “I will always find you, nothing on this planet will be able to stop me from ever finding you. _We_ will always find each other no matter what, it’s eight or nothing.”

And Chan believes him, believes him with such an intensity that he aches with the thought that he has finally, finally found a real family. After his parents passed away and he was all but thrown out of the rest of the pack when he was old enough, there are many things Chan never thought he would have again. Shelter, safety, food.

Love.

By some miracle, Chan has managed to find everything he needs in these seven boys and he would never, ever trade it for anything else in this world.

“I’ll always find you, too,” Chan chokes out, starting to feel the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “No matter what, I will.”

Their kiss this time is slightly wet due to the tears that finally flow down their cheeks, but something in Chan locks into place in that moment, his resolve to protect his family no matter what stronger than ever.

Chan may have bouts of insecurity, but he will _never_ be alone.

And it’s enough, it will always be more than enough, knowing he will always have seven people to come back home to at the end of every day.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Changbin didn’t make their OST himself, only wrote lyrics, but please pretend for my sake here he did lol.


End file.
